Jesus... This whole second semester I have had to deal with my effin' genius friends dropping out of school to pursue their (formerly) part-time careers at fast-food restaurants; a few years of friendship with people who I used to hang out with since middle school, and now I have nothing to show for the time that I spent so frivolously hanging out with my friends except for the unenviable simplicity of sheer solitude that I may have to live with for the next two years in high school.


I should really be profoundly irritated by this, but I find it almost disturbingly easier to care as much about the sake of my friends as my friends did for their own education. I would be very selfish if I DID try to convince them to come back to school for the sake of not prolonging my loneliness, but then I realized that someone who would rather get paid flipping and frying slabs of meat in a greasy kitchen than finish a full four-year term of High School is totally beyond any kind of help that even an accomplished psychiatrist is capable of providing...Christ, I feel like a jackass,
but why am I even feeling guilty?
The only reason that I even wanted to finish a full four-year term instead of graduating early was all because that I wanted to chill and hang out, but people aren't going to want to hang out with me after seeing the crew that I used to hang out with.
God, High School is so damn shallow; I wasn't even like any of my old friends, but they were the only ones who wanted me to hang out with them, and now they aren't even here anymore.
Why am I even feeling pissed at all? It was my decision to remain in High School, but even acknowledging that fact does not make it any more easier for me at all to come to terms with this problem of mine at all.


Aw well, whatever.
I guess the only thing I have to worry about now are my finals and
my AP Classes next year, and maybe while I am bored, I should also find some productive or maybe at least a convenient way to occupy my time... Maybe I should take a few classes for art, and learn how to draw or sumthin' stoopid liek that... haha